5 Things I've Learned in Recovery (As Told Through Broad City GIFs)
This post originally appeared on Proud2BMe.
I began recovery thinking that what I needed to focus on was my body, my confidence and food. What I learned was that eating disorders aren’t just about appearance or food and weight. They’re really about underlying issues and emotions. My eating disorder was a way to cope with feeling out of control. When everything in my life seemed overwhelming and hectic, I started to feel hopeless and like I would never be good enough.
When I used eating disorder behaviors, I thought I was in control, and I experienced a temporary numbing of the emotions I felt. But the eating disorder was really the one in control, and the moments I felt relief got shorter and shorter. Here’s a few things I have learned throughout my recovery journey, as told by Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson from Broad City.
1. The beginning of talking about feelings and emotions can feel awkward.
When I began to fight the disorder and begin the recovery process, I had to learn healthy ways to talk about my emotions and share how I was feeling. I also had to learn new coping mechanisms, new ways to address my feelings without using unhealthy behaviors. It was like learning a new language and learning how to ride a bike--all at the same time. But keep pushing through this uncomfortable process. It will get easier.
2. There’s no such thing as perfect recovery
As many know, recovery isn’t a straight line. There are days in recovery that are hard, but I’ve learned it’s about what I do when those days come that keeps me in recovery. Some days the eating disorder voice comes up, telling me I’m not worthy of love or I’m never going to be accepted without it. Recovery is about the decision I make when I have those thoughts. It’s about continuing to fight, challenging those thoughts and taking care of myself in the healthy ways I’ve learned.
3. Supports are so important--and can remind you of your inner awesomeness.
Ilana knows her BFF Abbi has the panache, spunk and jizzy-jazz within her. Supports like friends, family and treatment teams remind me to love myself and let others see my true self. When I was struggling, the eating disorder masked my personality and hid who I was. I needed (and still need) supportive people in my life to remind me not to be afraid of who I really am and to let my true personality and jizzy-jazz shine through.
4. Accepting and believing compliments is 100 percent OK.
It was really uncomfortable at the beginning to learn how to accept nice things people would say to me without challenging them. I couldn’t accept a compliment without either denying it or immediately feeling I needed to say something equally kind back. But accepting compliments isn’t conceited or arrogant--it’s awesome! It’s completely ok to say “thank you” and not self-deprecate or disagree and it’s a pretty good feeling.
5. Recovery is hard work, but I am SO much stronger than the eating disorder.
Abbi sums it up perfectly. I am so much stronger today than I ever have been, and I’ve learned to really feel that. The eating disorder won’t bring me down, and learning new tools and coping skills in recovery was hard, but so important. Even on days I didn’t feel like I was going to make it through, I had people and support there to remind me that recovery is real. If you need that inspiration, here it is: you are strong and so worth it, don’t let the eating disorder (or anyone) tell you any different. Keep fighting for recovery and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
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