Fighting the Shame of Stigma
This post originally appeared on Proud2BMe
When I took my first steps toward recovery, I had to accept that I was struggling with an eating disorder—and I was scared.
I was afraid if I admitted I had an eating disorder, something was inherently wrong with me—that I was somehow defective or broken. I viewed my diagnosis through a skewed lens and shamed myself for something that was out of my control. I labeled myself: I was abnormal, helpless, powerless or “messed up.”
This is the stigma I internalized. Stigma is shame, a mark of disgrace imposed by society on a person or group of people because they are different in some way. Stigma is when people say that those struggling with eating disorders are “wanting attention” or tell someone to “just eat, it’s not that hard.” Stigma is when we say someone is bulimic or someone is anorexic, when we would never say someone is cancer.
Stigma is shame, and it fueled my self-hatred. Stigma told me lies about mental illness, but through an increased awareness and knowledge, I fought back against its deception. I learned that in reality I didn’t hate myself—I hated stigma and I hated the eating disorder.
What I was dealing with was an illness, a sickness. I was not dealing with character or behavioral flaws or trying to repair a broken person. I was sick, and I needed time to heal. Once I came to accept my eating disorder as a sickness, I began to work on having compassion and love for myself.
I wasn’t selfish, broken or looking for attention. I was a sick person trying to get well—and I did.
One of the most important things I’ve ever done for myself is to fight against the stigma I experienced. I not only break down the stigma of mental illness for myself, but want to for others who may be in the same place I once was.
I encourage you to fight stigma whenever you notice it. Whether it’s negative beliefs you’re holding onto about yourself or someone else outside of you, you have the power to speak out and break down stigma.
When we speak up, raise our voices and make noise, we shut down stigma. We take away the power of stigma—and give it back to ourselves.
